Goodson 1

Goodson 1

Smarthinking’s E-structor Response Form

(Your marked-up essay is below this form.)

HOW THIS WORKS: Your e-structor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your e-structor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking’s OWL; best wishes with re- vising your paper!

Hi, Amber! My name is Sherry R. Let’s work on improving your rhetorical analysis here of Martin Luth- er King’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” and Malcolm X’s Oxford Union Debates speech.

*Strengths of the essay:

You did a good job in using evidence such as quotes and texts from your sources like this one: He replied to their comments of untimeliness by quoting Chief Justice Earl Warren from 1954 “justice delayed is justice denied” (King 381). This supports your claims and illustrates your points. Well done!

*Amber 5925037 has requested that you respond to the Main Idea/Thesis:

Amber, let’s work on developing a thesis statement which will present the points of your analysis at the end of the introduction. A thesis statement is a single coherent statement usually found at the end of the introduction that tells the readers what points you will be discussing in your essay. If we are to take this very definition, then does this statement at the end of your introduction present the very main points that you want to discuss in your essay?

During this time there were many groups trying to solve this problem, but two with different ideas of how to go about solving the racial issues was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X.

On the other hand, I found these statements within your discussions that tell your readers what you would like to analyze in your essay:

I would like to take a look at both Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter from Birmingham Jail” (377) and Malcolm X’s speech “Oxford Union Debate” (Malcolm X) by applying rhetorician, Lloyd Biter’s method for rhetorical analysis. He bases this method on a response to a situation or rhetorical discourse by applying these three factors, exigencies, audience, and constraints. We will be able to see the common goal of both men and the audiences they appealed to.

In this essay I will be analyzing a letter he wrote in rebuttal to eight clergymen, while sitting in a jail cell in Birmingham, Alabama, along with the analysis of Malcolm X’s speech he gave in the United Kingdom at Oxford.

As you can see, having all these points can be very confusing for your readers. Also, this shows that your essay does not have a focal point. Hence, I would suggest that you develop a thesis statement based on your points of analysis using the Lloyd Biter method of rhetorical situation. Here’s an ex- ample to help you:

In Martin Luther King’s Letter from Birmingham Jail and Malcolm X’s Oxford Union Debates speech, they both put forward the elimination of racial discrimination [ exigency], but King uses the biblical logic [ constraint] to appeal to eight clergymen [ audience], while Mal- colm X uses his experiences as inspiration [ constraint] to persuade the people [ audi- ence].

Goodson 2

You mentioned above that the Lloyd Biter method of rhetorical situation uses three factors such that of exigencies, audience, and constraints. Thus, in your analysis’ case, what do you think is the exigency that both King and Malcolm X are talking about? Who is King’s audience? Who is Malcolm X’s audi- ence? What were the constraints in King’s letter? What were Malcolm X’s constraints in giving his speech? How can you incorporate these points of analysis to form a thesis statement? You have your materials here, Amber. This will be an easy feat for you. For further help in developing a thesis state- ment, you can look under the topic Thesis Development of the Smarthinking Writer’s Handbook.

*Amber 5925037 has requested that you respond to the Content Development:

Amber, let’s work on providing details to keep your points clearer. Let’s have a look at this statement from your essay:

He specifically addresses each clergyman one at a time with references that will hit home for them. He takes them on one by one by pointing out the faults in their reasoning. He brings up the saints for the two Catholics.

What specific references did King use to address each of the eight clergyman? Can you cite examples to show your readers how these references hit the home for the clergymen? Also, what faults did King pointed out? Who were the saints that were brought up in King’s letter? Amber, providing substantial details and examples with your statements above will greatly help in conveying your message clearly. I am positive that you can do this to improve your discussions. 

Sentence Structure:

Amber, let’s work on using a comma to separate introductory elements from their main clauses because I noticed that some of your sentences fail to do such resulting in difficult to read sentences. Take a look at this example from your discussion:

When he was about six he became an orphan because his dad was killed in a racially motivated murder by white men.

More often than not, introductory elements tell when, why, where, and how actions happened as ex- pressed in the predicate. Hence, a comma is needed at the end of every introductory element to signal that the introductory elements have ended and that the main clause will follow. Here’s an example to help you:

When he was almost a teenager, he decided to run away because he thought that he can handle the world on his own.

Notice how my introductory element is separated from its main clause? With the presence of a comma, is it easier to read than if it is just one continuous phrase and clause? In the case of your sen- tence above, where does your introductory phrase end? Where do you think the comma should be placed to separate the introductory element from that of the main clause? Reflect on these questions to help you determine the right places to put a comma. To further help you with the different uses of a comma, there are more helpful tips and discussions under the topic Comma Usage in the Smarthink- ing Writer’s Handbook.

Summary of Next Steps:

King’s letter and Malcolm X’s Speech are two very interesting pieces to analyze because you can clearly see how polarized their solutions are. Let’s make sure that you carefully analyzed these pieces in your essay by considering the following in your revisions:

Goodson 3

 Develop a clear and specific thesis statement.  Add relevant details.  Separate introductory elements.

You have a head start here in terms of using evidence from your source to support your points, Amber. With a few more adjustments, your rhetorical analysis will be stronger. Good luck! Till next time. 🙂 – Sherry R

Find additional resources in Smarthinking’s online library:

You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in Smarthinking’s stu- dent handbooks. You can visit the Smarthinking Writer’s Handbook or the Smarthinking ESOL (English for speakers of other languages) Writer’s Handbook.

************************************************************************* ******

Please look for more comments in your essay below. Thank you for visiting Smarthinking. We encourage you to submit future essays.

************************************************************************* ******

Name

Professor

English 1302.001

18 October 2013

Analysis of MLK and Malcolm X

After 200 years, slavery was abolished because of the Civil War and even after

over a century after it had been abolished segregation of the races remained (Meltzer).

[ Good job in using a fact here as your hook. This piece of interesting information grabs

your readers’ attention. ] African Americans had been struggling for basic human rights

for over 300 years. In 1954, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that all citizens were due

“equal protection of the laws”. And with even more pressure from Southerners, in 1955

the Court ruled all schools to proceed with desegregation. In 1956 bus segregation was

Goodson 4

ruled unconstitutional. By the 1960’s these laws were still not being enforced and

brought about a civil rights movement. During this time there were many groups trying

to solve this problem, but two with different ideas of how to go about solving the racial

issues was Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X.

I would like to take a look at both Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter from

Birmingham Jail” (377) and Malcolm X’s speech “Oxford Union Debate” (Malcolm X) by

applying rhetorician, Lloyd Biter’s method for rhetorical analysis. He bases this method

on a response to a situation or rhetorical discourse by applying these three factors,

exigencies, audience, and constraints. We will be able to see the common goal of both

men and the audiences they appealed to.

Growing up in the south as a middle class African-American near Atlanta,

Georgia, Martin Luther King Jr. had become the most memorable and important civil

rights activists in America. He was a pastor of a Baptist church in Montgomery. There

were many influencing situations in his life that led him to be who he was during this

time in history. In this essay I will be analyzing a letter he wrote in rebuttal to eight

clergymen, while sitting in a jail cell in Birmingham, Alabama, along with the analysis of

Malcolm X’s speech he gave in the United Kingdom at Oxford.

Malcolm X had a very different upbringing than that of King and therefore had

different views on how to obtain justice for African-American’s. Many negative factors

influenced his way of thinking and brought about a harshness in his demeanor. When

he was about six he became an orphan because his dad was killed in a racially

motivated murder by white men. This, among other things, made him understandably

Goodson 5

bitter toward all white people. He began experiencing the injustices of prejudice early in

life and had acted out in negative ways. This landed him in prison.

History will tell us that both of these works were at the height of the civil rights

movement in the 1960’s. In Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter in Birmingham Jail” he

addresses these issues for African Americans wanting conditions to improve and rights

to be enforced. Reading his letter gives the reader an unexpected lesson and opens

your eyes to King’s passion. [ Amber, what are these unexpected lessons and passion

that King has presented in his letter? Citing important details here can help to illustrate

your point clearly and veer away from generalized claims.] Just as he speaks with rhythm,

so does his writing. He uses personal family stories to make his points. Telling them

how he has to explain to his own children why they are not welcome in certain places.

He goes into great detail about their endurance and patience. He explains why he

believes breaking some laws is okay, while it is not okay to break others. He says that it

is okay to break them when those laws are unjust.

Malcolm X sees the problem in a more extreme way. He thinks peaceful means

are too passive. He calls out people for being weak and calls it a sin to be so moderate.

He indirectly opposes King’s method. Malcolm X did not believe in any kind of

compromise when there is an injustice. He criticizes King when he refers to the “wishy

washy, love thy enemy approach” (Malcolm X). He sees the only way to get justice for

the blacks is to give them back what they gave, and that is brutality. Malcolm X was all

about using any means necessary to fight injustices, while Martin Luther King, Jr.

thought that peacefulness was the only way. Malcolm wanted blacks to remain some

what separate, but to have equal rights.

Goodson 6

Martin Luther King, Jr. makes references to the bible to make his points. He

specifically addresses each clergyman one at a time with references that will hit home

for them. He takes them on one by one by pointing out the faults in their reasoning. He

brings up the saints for the two Catholics. He points out that he modeled this letter after

Paul from the bible. King obviously intended this letter to be directly written to the

clergymen, but he also had other groups of people in mind. The way he wrote his letter

so that his views would make sense to non-Christians, other middle class African-

American’s, white moderates, law enforcement, and political leaders as well. He does

this by using quotes by Socrates and others.

At this time colored people were viewed as second class citizens. There were

many things influencing the movement. In the 1960’s, America had been torn over civil

rights for a while. When the clergyman’s letter came out in the newspaper that trigger

King’s response. [ What subject can you substitute for the conjunction that here to

regard this as a complete sentence? Keep in mind that when you have an introductory

phrase, it should be properly joined with a main clause. A main clause is usually complete

with its own subject and predicate. For example in this sentence: When the issue came out

in the tabloids ( introductory phrase), it caused her to come out of hiding and face her

troubles ( main clause). ]

Martin Luther King, Jr. chose peaceful demonstrations to make his point.

Although completely against violence he writes about nonviolent tension being

necessary. He implies that it is wrong for him to be in jail for doing the right thing, for

standing up for their rights as Americans, by actually kneeling down. He used the time in

jail as an opportunity to educate his readers about his views. His words make people

think about what they believe and why. He wanted his letter to be dissected. He replied

Goodson 7

to their comments of untimeliness by quoting Chief Justice Earl Warren from 1954

“justice delayed is justice denied” (King 381).

Malcolm was a practicing Muslim. He used historical facts in a very blunt way.

During the debate in Oxford Malcolm uses his words, mannerism and even humor to

persuade the young, sophisticated audience. He only had a limited amount of time to

get his point across and the pressure of being broadcast on television worldwide. He

speaks about the life of African-Americans during that era. He mentions how nothing

has changed, even with laws that were passed and how the administration knows about

racially motivated murders but choose not to do anything about them. He explains how

America is hypocritical by saying one thing and practicing another.

In a way haven’t we all experienced an injustice? I think yes, but …

Martin Luther King, Jr. is considered one of the best speakers of all time. His writings

paint a clear and detailed picture for the reader. He had a great talent for writing and

wrote what he saw and felt in his path. From a historical perspective, it is evident that

the treatment of African-American’s was wrong and he did a wonderful job influencing

and persuading others on this issue.

Goodson 8

Works Cited

King, Martin Luther Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail”. A World of Ideas: Essential

Readings for College Writers. Ed. Jacobus, Lee A. 9th ed. New York: Bedford/St.

Martins, 2010. Print.

Malcolm X. Oxford Union Debate. 3 December 1964. Video.

Meltzer, Milton. “There Comes a Time, The Struggle for Civil Rights”. New York. 2001.

Random House. Print.