he correct citing

1. Reconstruct the introductory paragraph and make sure it ends with a strong thesis and show three to four points that proves your thesis.

2) ensure the work has the correct citing.

3) Eliminate the 1st or the 2nd person from the writing.

4. Make the last paragraph to be a strong summary that ties the entire paper together.

In addition, proofread and corrected grammatical errors

attachment
reconstructed_paper.docx