What are your “I can’t” communication behaviors?
The Course Project is about improving your interpersonal communication skills. As a result, in Part 1 of the project you will select a communication goal or challenge that is related to interpersonal communication. You will work on this challenge for the duration of the session, so take some time to consider what is worthy of the time. Use the process outlined in Part 1 to identify your challenge.
Note: Since you will later in the course be implementing new communication behaviors to rectify your communication challenge, it is critical that you will have interaction with this person or these people identified in Part 1E over the next eight weeks.
Take some time to think about challenges you have communicating with other people. These difficulties may involve strangers and acquaintances, friends, family members, or people at school or work. You may identify situations that involve specific individuals or general circumstances. Some examples include having trouble starting a conversation with someone you have never met, saying “no” when your sister asks to borrow money, or participating in meetings, even when you have a question or contribution to the discussion.
1A. What are your “I can’t” communication behaviors?
Make a list of 4-8 challenges relating to your interpersonal communication that you feel require attention because you “can’t” seem to do these well.
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1. I can’t ask my friends for favors when I need their help.
2. I can’t discipline my daughter without becoming angry.
3. I can’t say “no” when my boss asks me to work overtime.
4. I can’t address employees directly or clearly when corrective action is needed.
5. I can’t stop coming across as sarcastic in my conversations with others.
6. I can’t keep my staff focused on the discussion at hand during meetings.
7. I can’t accept constructive criticism without becoming defensive.
When you have completed your list, describe each “I can’t” behavior in detail (1-2 paragraphs each), and provide examples to illustrate why you included each behavior in this list.
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“I can’t say no to a family member if he or she asks for my help.”
Unless I have a really good excuse, I can’t say no when a family member asks me to do something. Even though I often feel like I am being taken advantage of, I still feel obligated to help. Our family is very close and we do a lot of things for each other, but my family members tend to ask me to do the things that nobody else wants to do or is willing to do. It has become expected that I will do the things that others will not.
Last week, I used a vacation day and cancelled personal plans on two separate days to tend to family business. On Tuesday, I took my grandmother to the doctor for an outpatient surgical procedure because my mother had an important business meeting that day. On Saturday, I cancelled a dinner with old friends to look after my three-year-old niece so that my brother and sister-in-law could celebrate their anniversary.
